i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
