This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You're like the curious george of whores
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
