that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
