My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
