after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
