Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize