I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
