Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize