I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
