You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
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I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just googled if crying burns calories
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
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she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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