Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
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