I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
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