Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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