Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
