Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
