Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
