I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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