I heard we made out
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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