in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
