Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
