Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
