brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
