i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Randomize
