he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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