I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
