That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
