Ambien. No doubt about it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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