i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
