Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
