someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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