very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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