He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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