Where is the hickey?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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