So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
