he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.