whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.