If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
