I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
