need another drink. this is the easiest way
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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