OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
