I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
