Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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