brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
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