im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
