We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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