I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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