he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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