Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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