come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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