sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
what is it with giant penises always finding me
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
