69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Come share oat with me in your robe
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