This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You may now shotgun with the bride
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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