If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize