Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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