i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
