wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
