grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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