i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize