im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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