I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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