dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
