I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
God, I missed his penis.
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