Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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