I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
