I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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